The Coffee Pot

I am the proud owner of a defective coffee pot. Oh, it makes the coffee just fine, but the pot itself is defective. My mother had to learn to accept this. It wasn’t easy. She kept insisting that I send away for a proper working replacement. I could, but I’m a little too lazy for that.

Whenever I make coffee for company and my guest start pouring coffee for themselves, they become incredibly stressed out. I tell them that they aren’t doing anything wrong, that coffee pot is just defective. It always spills coffee on the counter. After apologizing and cleaning up their mess we usually have the following conversation:

“This is dribbling coffee all over the place. This coffee pot is horrible!”

“I know,” I say.

“So why don’t you get a new one?”

“Because it was a wedding gift.”

“So what? Now you gotta live with this dribbling coffee pot for the rest of your life? Who would give you a defective coffee pot for a wedding gift?”

“I picked it out.”

“You mean you registered for this?”

“Yes.”

“Well, did you know that it was going to dribble coffee all over the place?”

“Yes.”

“Then why’d you pick it?”

“Makes a great conversation piece.”