Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Deb gone wild....on Girl Scout cookies

First, he brings home those new Hershey kisses filled with this really gooey, drippy, quite yummy, caramel. "Why did you buy those?" "They were on sale! I got 2 bags for $3!" John's so proud of himself. "Great. This is what happens when I send you out to the store because I'm too sick to go. Anything else in there (pointing to bags) of nutritional value?"---yes, I got sick, AGAIN. This time Jack and I both got this mysterious fever that wouldn't break for 2 days. I'm thinking about locking myself up in a sterile bubble.

Before I know it, I found myself sitting in a pile of little pink and red Kiss foils and the cat's playing with one of those Hershey paper flags. She starts chewing on it all sideways like when a human eats a taco.

Last night he comes home telling Jack he's "got a suprise for him". Thin Mints, Samoas, and Do-si-dos. Son of a bitch! "Can't you see you're making me fat, here???"

John's a runner. He could eat about forty-seven double bacon cheeseburgers everyday chased down with a strawberry milkshake and never see a bit of it stick to his ass because he gets up at 5am to....RUN.

I'm more of the non-runner. I've tried it, but after thirty consecutive seconds of running I feel as though my lungs could explode. I'll walk, thank you. If I need to get anywhere faster, I'll drive, okay?

But what am I going to do with all these cookies? I told him to get them out of the house, I can't control myself. I've really got to take these five or six holiday pounds off, and the Girl Scouts have no interest in helping me, they just want me to getting hopped up on refined sugar and then hand over cash for more.

If he comes home with some other treats tonight, there's going to be a serious talk and I'm jst going to have to come out and ask him if he's a closet chubby-chaser...


At 18 January, 2006, Blogger Lindsey said...

Mmmmmm. Samoas. I'm craving them now. Dammit!


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