I feel so fat, I'm bloated beyond belief. If I were on a plane that was gonna crash into the ocean right now, I could use my belly as a bloatation device.
I will eat nothing but lettuce and drink water today. I don't even care about losing weight, I just need to eat something clean and pure, unlike the over processed ingredients of the green bean casserole leftovers I'd been snacking on. Just thinking about the turkey carcass and petrified stuffing topped with the remaining jellied gravy is sending nauseating chills up my spine.
Thank God Thanksgiving is but once a year...