Hey! Who put that there?
I can't complain about this winter. The old man dished out a mild one to Cleveland this year. But I can complain about all the garbage on my lawn.
My nextdoor neighbor Bill, a very nice albeit suspiciously single AARP member, is a pretty nice guy. But John pointed out the empty styrofoam hamburger container right next to his fence....but in our yard. Oh so that's how it is, now Bill?
This morning I saw something shiny hopping and flying around the yard. Hello, what's this? Oh, it's lunch sized potato chip bag turned inside out, now is it? Clever.
Near the mailbox, I spot something of an unnatural green color in the brownish grass. An empty 20oz Sprite bottle. I know it didn't fall out of my garbage can, cause I don't drink that vile stuff. Who drinks Sprite anyway? Highschool kids from 1989?
I'm not blaming it all on poor old Bill, who I only recently discovered was an AARP member due to the sloppy mailman's mix-up. This is what Spring is all about. It gets a little warmer and windy. And everybody else's crap migrates over to your yard.
Maybe I should pick it up and throw it away, only I'm worried that once I do, some more shit will come to take it's place. Maybe I should get out with my bullhorn, pump my shotgun and yell, "GET OFF MY LAWN!"
I'll show that insideout potato chip bag I mean business.