Hey! Who put that there?
I can't complain about this winter. The old man dished out a mild one to Cleveland this year. But I can complain about all the garbage on my lawn.
My nextdoor neighbor Bill, a very nice albeit suspiciously single AARP member, is a pretty nice guy. But John pointed out the empty styrofoam hamburger container right next to his fence....but in our yard. Oh so that's how it is, now Bill?
This morning I saw something shiny hopping and flying around the yard. Hello, what's this? Oh, it's lunch sized potato chip bag turned inside out, now is it? Clever.
Near the mailbox, I spot something of an unnatural green color in the brownish grass. An empty 20oz Sprite bottle. I know it didn't fall out of my garbage can, cause I don't drink that vile stuff. Who drinks Sprite anyway? Highschool kids from 1989?
I'm not blaming it all on poor old Bill, who I only recently discovered was an AARP member due to the sloppy mailman's mix-up. This is what Spring is all about. It gets a little warmer and windy. And everybody else's crap migrates over to your yard.
Maybe I should pick it up and throw it away, only I'm worried that once I do, some more shit will come to take it's place. Maybe I should get out with my bullhorn, pump my shotgun and yell, "GET OFF MY LAWN!"
I'll show that insideout potato chip bag I mean business.
posted by Debbie Cakes @ 5:15 PM
11 comments
11 Comments:
LOL! It's that time of year again here, too.
...New neighbors who haven't caught on that if you put your garbage out the night before pick-up, the critters will drag it to hell and highwater.
...Lookie-Loos who throw their coke bottles and cig butts out of their cars.
Shoot me! Just shoot me now!
That's right, Attila, I forgot about your lookie-loo issues.
Note: Attila lives in a beautiful scenic place....and sometimes that's not a good thing. Tourists think it's a national park and campout and pic-a-nic there. And they are often suprised and quite offended when she and her neighbors rightfully yell to "GET OFF MY LAWN!"
Go get one of those trash 'picks' and go start picking up trash with it and then wave it around and tell your neighbors 'I MEAN BUSINESS PEOPLE!' Maybe that will scare them. Thanks for hosting me this week, it's been a blast! I promise I will visit!
Once upon a time I lived in a house that was very sweet. It was a little stone cottage that was listed on the historical registry and I was happy there. I was happy there until my neighbor’s 3000 year old, 412 foot pin oak tree dumped 983 Glad Drum Liner Garbage Bags full of pin oak leaves over the fence and into the yard of my little stone cottage.
I admit that in a childish act of retaliation – I send away for about 18 different sex toy catalogs – on his behalf… and one brochure an “enlargement” for the “Performance Challenged Male in Your Life.” His wife then became the prime suspect in the scandal.
Your post if perfect timing. I'm cleaning up my lawn this weekend. I remember one year I found a used adult diaber in my bushes. It sure as hell wasn't mine!
Great post. Show that chip bag you mean business!
Our neighborhood seems to have a garbage jetstream. It is just magical to see how the person a half block away 1) has his garbage situated on a steep incline; 2) doesn't care when he throws in the garbage that causes it to tip over in alley every week; 3) lets the wind whisk it into every neighbors yard in a 2 to 3 block area.
When I got home from a trip this weekend I saw that our neighbor had a Targe bag hanging from the uppermost limb of the tree that is on our property line.
My thought: It's gonna suck for them to get that down.
Then I remembered that their yard in summer looks like the Vietnamese jungles PRE-Agent Orange. So that bag will be eaten up by the tree any day now. :-)
oops. Targe really = Target. Damn these typing fingers.
My lawn looks like shit, therefore, anything that migrates into it has been christened "Yard Art" and I have declared that it shall stay there until the winds die down. Besides, the biodegradable stuff will turn into lawn mulch after Jeffee mows over it four or five times with the tractor. I hate spring.
Such was my loathing of inside out chip bags in my garden that I moved to the top floor of an apartment block, the grounds of which are stylishly and immaculately maintained by serfs. I now sneer at errant inside out things from on high and feel no need of a shotgun. I recommend it.
charlie
hehe - very funny issue.
its autumn here, so lots of leaves and chilly weather... but we did have gale-force winds the other day.
teens in the area muck around late on weekends - bottles and shit everywhere.
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