A 100,000 Major Cows
Hey, you. Yeah, YOU. As long as you're hanging round my blog, why don't pay a visit to the latest liar that's smiling?
She's a little bit nutty, I'm a little bit outta control. I think we make a great BlogSlumlord/BlogTennant team. StumblingThroughLifeWithGrace is part personal diary and little bit of self-analysis, and it's being analyzed by a woman who goes by the name "3rd Time's a Charm" and refers to herself as a neurotic, closet bitch.
You can also redecorate the place, you have a couple of blogskins to choose from. Maybe that doesn't sound like anything exciting to you, but I think it sure beats those lameass paperdolls with flimsy paper dresses with the tabs that broke off after changing her only once.
Anyway, I've got this feeling that she's gonna end up over there on that links sidebar thing. A couple of past tennants already have, and I'll only add ones that I think are worth going back for more.
Disclaimer: This is going to be another one of my mini-series posts. I can't tell you the whole story in one sitting, you'll be at risk for bedsores if you read it all ar once. Yes, coming back to read more parts will be a different kind of pain in the ass, but it'll be more like a dull ache. You're also not going to find out the meaning of the title either. Sorry, Charlie, but that's all part of a little thing called "suspense". And if you like that sort of thing, then go and read about all my adventures as a weightloss consultant for Jenny Craig parts I and II. You'll have loads of suspense in store for you over there. Some folks are still waiting on parts III and IV which haven't even been written yet. Aye, me loves a good suspense, Matey, along with talking like a pirate.
Carey was one for falling hard and obsessing at length about any boy that looked her way, even if not directly at her. Now she was madly in love with five boys at once. They were better known to the rest of the world as The New Kids On The Block.
Maggie had already come over and we had to coax Carey to do the same. She wouldn’t leave because she wanted to watch some "New Kids’ special", so we lied and said if she came over she could watch it at my house. She said she knew we wouldn’t do it once she came over, even though we promised....and then she came over. And while she boo-hooed we snickered behind her blubbering back, we didn’t care about her lame terms or the good of our word.
She begged us to turn on the New Kids. "Uh, no thanks?" we said. We giggled and laughed and threw every easy boy band joke in her direction. "Like, why do you like them anyway? I mean what’s the point? You do know that they’re gay, right? Tee hee hee heee heee hawaaa..."
Normally she cared what we thought, being that she was so insecure, but this time it didn’t matter what we said, this was real love and nothing was going to come between us and her five loverboys. She was completely devoted them. She was willing to drop everything, leave home to become a full time groupie and follow their every move. She would have done it, too, but she was fourteen. I bet her rich parents would have sponsored her, but you know, the neighbors might look down on them for supporting her obsession with pretty boys rather than having her finish school.
After all that whining with But they’re so cute, and my mom doesn’t know how to use the VCR so I can’t tape it!!! I finally flipped the channel. "Alright! Fine! There; happy, now?" Maggie and I sat, arms crossed, watching these five boys perform synchronized jumping and singing on a stage in front of a bunch sweating, screaming girls that, besides the sweating and screaming, looked a lot like us. Total Fluffchicks. We were the sort of preteen girls that spent more time on their hair than there homework. Looking at the crowd of AquaNet bangs, I could almost smell the grape Bubbliscious through the TV screen.
The smallest and presumably the youngest New Kid stepped up to lead microphone and sang something perfectly crafted for a middle school slow dance. It was sweet and he was....kind
of...cute. "Of course he’s cute! He’s Joey!!! See? I knew you guys would like them!!!" I told Carey to shut it. Nobody said they liked them, I was just making an observation. Maggie and I kept on with the sarcastic remarks and Carey kept on getting all hot and bothered, shushing us which would only add more remarks to the well deserved ridicule. We couldn’t help ourselves.
Maggie: Look at all those losers in the front row.
Me: Why is that chick crying?
Maggie: Hey, that one’s crying, too; what the hell?
Me: There’s another one!
I didn’t get it. Maggie and I admitted that they weren’t that bad, and some were kind of cute even. But what the hell was all that crying about?