Pass With Care

A deflated spirit and an inflated ass have left me trying to eat less and move more. I stopped eating a couple of hours before going to bed. Baby steps.

I’ve decided to actually use my membership at the local rec center.

Thursday, I dropped off my son at the preschool in my sweats and sneakers, that way there was no reason to drive back home. I had my headphones so that I wouldn’t have to listen to the shit they try to pass off as "good workout music".

Seriously, the music is awful. I’m not getting real motivated listening to Michael Bolton sing "Said I love you, but I lied". What kind of a shitty line is that? I bet the girl he told that to threatened to cut all his stringy hair off. I bet that gave him the idea to cut it off in the first place which actually worked out in his favor. He’s almost hot. Almost, because behind his new look lingers the memory of his horrible old one.

So, now I was walking around on the indoor track. Going around in circles. Being passed by runners. Being passed by walkers. Ouch.

I didn’t let that get to me, until an old guy, and I mean old as in his seventies trotted along the right side of me and then took off like a fully charged electric wheelchair. Alright, that’s it. I will not be passed by anymore senior citizens that are leisurely walking to keep their blood pressure down. But Speedy OldGeezer was already a half lap ahead of me and I wasn’t up for the competition. That was okay, I just needed to pick up the pace to help prevent further humiliation.

Soon I was passed by a woman who had a good fifty pounds on me. She was running. She couldn’t have possibly been in better shape than me. Apparently, she’d been training for a race involving passing people that looked like they might be able outrun her.

After a half hour of being passed by like an old lady driving on the freeway, I pulled off the exit closest to the door. I took a look behind me to make sure I wasn’t going to get plowed over by the old, fat people. I’ve come to learn, they are surprisingly fast.