Dear [online] Diary,

Dear Diary,

I know, I know. It's been awhile. I'm sorry, okay? It's just been a little hectic around here...Or at least it has been according to my neuroses. You know, between the recent trip to Connecticut and the whole deal with a realtor coming to taking pictures of the house, I could have really used a drink. But instead, I ended up with two back to back migraines and cramps. And we all know that mixing Codeine with alcohol can make for a very sloppy mess. I mean, I would have probably left laundry undone and and sink full of dishes because I was too busy being passed out on the floor.

Well, I know, you've heard every excuse in the book. But I've really been meaning to tell you all about it, it's just that my head's been spinning. And before you jump to any conclusions, I have not been "getting busy" over at My Space. What? You don't believe me? Go ahead and look for yourself, there's no news over there. In fact, the My Space people are still looking at my book signing post. Poor fellas.

Speaking of which, I rewrote the whole damned thing. I knew you thought it sucked. I kept the good parts, subtracted some of the lame, and multiplied it by twenty paragraphs. Yeah, that's long. I took your advice and decided to not post the new and improved version. Who wants to read that again? Not me, I tell you. I've had enough of looking and reading and rewriting it a thousand times. No thank you. So I guess it's just gonna sit in my laptop hard drive. Huh. No place to send it really.

Oh well, anyhoo.

So I guess I could tell you about how my body is so stiff and sore that hurts to just sit on the couch. Finally got John off his seat to help me move this God forsaken computer armoire. Sheesh, that was heavy. Oh and that dresser thing we use to stuff all of books in. Then of course he starts in with the "Do you really want to keep all these books?" but I told him to shut it. He's got just as many books in there. I don't want to hear about it, or I'll abduct his out-of-print paperback Amityville Horror and hold it hostage somewhere. I could take pictures of it holding today's newspaper, followed by one of it next to a book of matches, you know, just for kicks. Aw, who am I kidding? I love that book. We both know I'd never go through with it.

Well, I have been thinking. Dangerous, I know. Maybe if I could dig it up, I could post some of my really old diary entries. No, no, no, no. I thought of that, already. But I'll wait, I mean if anyone really wanted the "best of" this blog, they could snoop around the archives. I'm talking about the diary I used to write every night with a pencil. That's got some real gems in it. It has all that stuff I wrote about in the fourth grade, it's sure to be a hit. I'm gonna have to look in Mom's attic. It's around there somewhere, I'm sure.

Hmmm.

That could take a while to find, you're right. As usual. What would I do without you, Diary? I'm gonna start writing you more often. Don't expect too much from me, I've got to ease into it. Maybe I'll get an old fashioned version of you with a lock and key. I don't want John peeking in there. You're probably right, I mean he doesn't even read this one. Not likely he'll be so curious to go breaking the lock on another. I could probably leave it lying openfaced on his pillow every night and he wouldn't bother reading it. In fact, I think I will.

Okay, then diary. I need a cup of coffee. No, I didn't just wake up, well sort of. I mean, I just haven't typed yet today, that's why I sound so hoarce. Oh get off my back already, Diary.

I'll talk to you later.

Love,

Deb : )