Monday, July 16, 2007

If loving PingPing is wrong, I don't want to be right.

So I laughed right out loud when I watched this on the Today show. But so Al Roker and Matt Lauer, though they cleared their throats quickly saying that "Gee whiz, nothing happens in Mongolia all year and now this breaking news occurs!" I can see through your lies like I can see that old lady's poorly disguised vericose vein through "nude" colored pantyhose. By the way, what color is nude, nipples?

But the real reason I laughed was not so much at the expense of the world's tallest or smallest man, it was the fact that all these people showed and documented this event. Wow, two humans shaking hands, never seen that before. Sure one was sitting in a chair and one was carried in on someone's shoulder and standing on a table, but what's so crazy bout that?

Just watch this first and you'll know what I'm talking about:

And how awkward was that?
The tallest man was like, "Um, hi, I'm the world's tallest man, or so I've been told. Sorry we had to meet like this."
And the smallest man was all, "Yeah, you think this blows,someone put me in this ill-fitting monkey suit before they brought me out here. Dude, I was wearing a badass silkscreen tee with jeans. What gives?"
Then the asshole that brought him out picks him up again withought so much as a warning and displays him like a little manbaby for the cameras. You could almost hear Smallest Man utter, "Put me down you showboating mofo, I'm not a fucking baby, okay? I'm a man. Don't believe me? Just undo my onesie and look in my diaper."

I just wanted to rescue these two poor souls. Two men, who probably wanted to just lead normal lives poked with cowprodders and forced into "meeting" one another. If they really wanted to meet each other, wouldn't it have taken place at a mutual friend's backyard bbq or the like? "Tallest Man! I'm so glad you could make it, and thanks for bringing that bag of ice. I've been wanting to introduce you to my good friend, Smallest Man, because you both have absolutely nothing in common and it makes for a great photo op."


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