Dishwasher Dangerous

My mother-in-law has all these plates and I’m not sure if any of them were actually purchased by her or received as a wedding gift, because they always seem to be her mother’s. They’re really lovely plates but they’re always referred to as "old", at least according to her.

So when I’m there and I happen to be helping with the dishes, I always have to ask whether or not certain plates and bowls can go into the dishwasher. Because you just don’t know. And I certainly don’t want to be responsible for ruining a set of dishes that once belonged to my grandmother-in-law, so to speak.


Some of these plates have got to be over fifty years old. I know some of these pieces weren’t prepared for the harsh conditions of a dishwasher. Or maybe it’s vice versa. They’re not "dishwasher safe", in fact they’re "dishwasher dangerous". Dishes may explode in the wash and perhaps the dishwasher will blow up and burst into flames.


There’s always this temptation for me, to see what exactly is so taboo about certain dishes going in. Now, I’m not about to try such a risky experiment with someone else’s belongings, but if I come across a dish that I’m willing to take a chance on one of these days, believe me I will.

Maybe George Jefferson had it right after all.

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Me and Margie used to believe that George Jefferson had the right idea. When you walk, you oughtta swing your arms behind you, not to try and look cool like he thought he did with this strut, but to wave off any offensive odors.

As frequent slumber party guests at each other's homes we were familiar with the routine, consume lots of sugar which would inturn create hyper giggling which would often produce the side effect of gas. A side effect that we welcomed. Even little girls have farting matches. But during the daylight hours we would use the George Jefferson walk. Having been exposed to every episode of the Jeffersons that my parents watched, I came up with a theory that GeeYorgy was full of hot smelly air and that he was fanning his heiny to cut the green odor waves off of his person. I really believed this. Especially since Wheezy (that's right) would always throw a limp hand in his direction and make a disgusted expression while turning her face the other way.

Having said all that, I think I've made a pretty good case to back up my theory. And when you happen upon any wind breaking in your future, look to George and wave to others from behind.